Lunchtime

Life is weird if you think about it too much. I just ate an apple, to gain energy and prolong my life from consuming its biomass. I'm like a vampire for apples. I ingest their souls.

Authenticity

You know, it's when I talk to my friends from days gone by that i realise... there's a genuine nature that they lack. And that's why i love you. x

Countryside

There's a particular ability of the countryside to make you feel more alive. Everything is heightened, everything seems more vivid, more real. The wind blows stronger, the sun shines warmer. Even the rustling silence that the bustling city denies seems more deafening. You sit quiet in awe, the power of nature, of god. This place, so little of which is manmade, resounds with simple beauty.

Airport

Why is my heart so heavy? Is it because I'm about to do something momentous, solo? Surely I've passed the point where taking a weekend break elicits anxiety and a feeling in the gut of my stomach like I've just gotten a punch.

Do I believe this weekend will be a farce? Hardly. London is well-known to me at this stage; even if I haven't planned every hour of this trip, it's no matter.

More likely the ex is weighing on my mind. Ever since I discovered she'll be going to the wedding, argh, she has been at the back of my mind. The cut in the roof of my mouth that would heal if only I could stop tonguing it. I don't think I'm still in love with her, she's more like a shadow cast over me, my lovelife.

Paulo Coelho. Part of me blames him for the break-up. That book... but it was me really. I stopped making her happy at some point. We dragged it out, but that's all that matters. No happiness.

One more sleepless night

Why does Morpheus deny me his sweet embrace? His gentle caress bringing blissful slumber, ignorance and escape from the rigours of thought and deed. Instead I dwell in the land of the restless, forever turning on the spit of fatigue, wishing for an end to the tortutous moments wasted awake.

Memories of those I've met

Flashes of R's face, of L bold and unashamed. J, sitting cross-legged on my bed. K, her wild red hair whipped across her face while beaming that ever-present smile. J, a protective father, but so young at heart, stilling living life like the adventure it is. 

Written on my phone

Memories of people... Russians. The VT crew, each one them a gem. Emerald, a female Chinese Ultan. Jeany. Lee. The Easy Riders. Bobby. Team Denmark, so daft but welcoming. L&C, J&T. Team Scotland, who did so much to bring me out of myself.

Debbie. M&J. The Western Exposure band. The guests of Annie's Place. The Uluru tour group. Lisa and Marco, and the Japanese. The camping families. 4bg.

***

Lena like Yuliana. Michelle a much nicer N. A lot of young kids, nineteen or twenty - Gea or Laura for example - such confidence they have. I still feel obliged to protect them though.

***

For L: Your piece of information to keep you interested for the next two days is: my hair is currently pink, and my nipples are purple.