Creativity

If one sits down with the intention of being creative, rather than the urge to be, the innate desire, the creativity is forced and false, a form of artificial intelligence.

Some people

It's like some people haven't grasped the concept that the world doesn't revolve around them. They don't appreciate other people's efforts, their opinions, their thoughts, their needs. Self-gratification is their only aim - emotional and physical whores. Friends are harvested for their benefits, feeding the ego and the soul with empty substance.

Love

Such is love. We are but sailors on life's ocean, tossed like so many salads until we throw up over the side, or hit a big fuck-off iceberg. Or a lettuce.

So old

Sometimes I feel like giving up - I feel so old, like I've lived hundreds of lives packed into this lifetime - an eternity of experiences tearing me apart at the seams. Sometimes I don't know who I am, sometimes I don't know where I stand. The sky reflects my emotions, but only if I can tell it what i'm feeling. It's the pain that reminds us we're still alive.

My brother

I know the drone downstairs is my brother on the phone to the samaritans. A hollow guilty feeling steals over me, because I know I should do something, but I know I won't. He killed my enthusiasm for caring with a thousand negative comments, always shirking from my touch, never opening up, except with desperation. Now the only person he talks to is an anonymous voice, who just listens.

Two questions

Why now? Why, after two years of not a word, suddenly strike up a conversation and ask to meet the gang again? It was a bit awkward, which you probably noticed. Nobody was sure what to do - you just re-appeared. And perhaps you'll be gone again now for another two years. But I don't want that. I miss you. I know I ruined you, but you ruined me. Every girl since - it all comes back to you. Breaking up with you is the biggest regret of my life. But I thought I needed to get out. I didn't know it would be so long. That you would go so far away. I'm going to open and honest, because if I'm not, I'll regret this for the rest of my life. I don't know when you're coming back, but that doesn't really matter. I'll come to you if I have to. I've made this mistake once before, and come back to you, and you took me back. To ask a second time, I don't blame you if you don't say yes this time.
Will you have me back?

I miss you.
I miss your green coat.
I miss your green eyes.
Letting you go was the stupidest decision of my life. It's one I'll probably still regret in another three years.
You were the first girl I ever loved, and staying with you forever - it seemed like settling. How could I know if what we had was special, if I had nothing to compare it to?
Now I realise how incredibly lucky I was to have met you, and for you to have loved me as much as I loved you.
I never really stopped loving you.
I miss being able to text you about the little things that happen.
Whenever I swim in the sea, I think of you. Really, I swim for you.
We're both a little older and a little wiser now. We know a bit more about what we want from life, and about whom we want to spend it with.
I need someone smart, sharp and witty. Somebody not afraid of telling me I'm a fool, who can give as good as she gets. Someone with black hair and green eyes, who knows what a minotaur is.
I need you, if you'll have me again.